I have so many ugly pictures of my friends purely stored for revenge
liking 2,197 facebook pages in 2008 is my biggest regret
*runs after garbage truck* WAIT!!!!! YOU FORGOT ME!!!!!
I think as you grow older your christmas list gets smaller and the things you really want for the holidays can’t be bought
accidentally forgetting your earbuds at home is like accidentally leaving your first born child at the gates of hell
The year is 2060. iPhone 842 is released. The screen touches you
- Guy: ...but I mean lesbian sex isn't REAL sex.
- Me: Well, I mean, those sounds your sister made were pretty fucking real.